Amanda Johnson

Love the life you have and have the life you want

Three Familiar Symptoms of Not Being Good Enough

4 Comments

Launching a new business really brings up a bunch of sh*t.

The amount of self-doubt and insecurity this brings up for me is pretty incredible. My inner critic just loves itself a new opportunity to get into my head.

It challenges me each and every day to remember that I am good enough.

I’m pretty sure I’m not alone here. Most of us walk around each day and, one way or another, think we’re not good enough. 

Whether or not we acknowledge it to others—or even to ourselves—I have started to notice a few common symptoms that crop up when we live a life apologizing for who we are.

sick-woman

Now, if I could put this next line in big flashing lights, I would. I cannot stress it enough. I want to shout it from the mountaintops at the the top of my lungs.

If any of these symptoms ring true for you it doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough!!! It just means you might believe you’re not good enough.

And I’m here to tell you that that just isn’t true.

The ego is incredibly co-dependent and wants nothing more than to feel important and needed. If the ego is winning this particular fight be sure to keep reading to see just how we can turn “not being good enough” into “being good with being me.”

1. Feeling of emptiness

Sometimes we misinterpret that empty pit in our stomach as a sign that we’re not okay and then proceed to cover it up with food, alcohol, tantrums, or anything else that seems to alleviate it for a brief moment in time.

We can start to pay attention to when we reach for that extra slice of cake or have another drink or yell at our partner and see if there is something going on inside that we might be misreading as “not okay” instead of simply a physiological experience—butterflies in the stomach, aching in the heart, tightness in the chest.

What if that emptiness we sometimes feel is just part of being human? What if it’s okay?

2. Asking the question, “What will they think?”

This question crops up a lot whether we are launching a new business or meeting someone for the first time. When we focus more on what others will think than on what lights us up and feels true to us in the moment, we are feeding into this limiting belief.

We cannot predict the future or control the outcome. Each one of us is responsible for our own thoughts and reactions which means that if you think I’m too much or not professional enough that really isn’t something I can control.

When we find that we more often than not modify how we show up to fit a mold or avoid “upsetting people” we are compromising our own authentic brilliance.

3. Worrying about what we did (or didn’t do)

This is another big one. Especially when we are feeling anything less than 100% amazing.

What if no matter what we did in the past—whether we got angry or acted in a way that we feel embarrassed about—we are still good enough?

Now, the only hook here is that sometimes we find that we are not being true to our authentic self because we are afraid of what other people might think which can then lead to us worrying about what we did or how we acted. So, the moral here?

Remember that our authentic self is perfectly imperfect just the way it is. {Tweet it out!}

The root cause of so much of our angst and unease stems from this belief that we are not okay. And I lovingly challenge all of us to question that on an ongoing basis. What if we are okay just the way we are and we no longer need to go around covering it up or apologizing for it?

How would you show up differently if you weren’t experiencing these common symptoms of “not-being-good-enough-itis?”

What am I missing here? What other symptoms do you experience that stem from that nagging feeling of “not being good enough?” Share in the comments below and help others with their diagnosis.

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Author: Presence Matters

Amanda Johnson has one mission: to help people turn their critic into their ally so they can love the life they have and have the life they want. She does this through her work as a writer and presence coach. After years of struggling with depression, motivation and finding any purpose, Amanda made a choice to transform her experience of life. She realized that when she resisted, judged or attached to “what is” she suffered and that this is true for all of us. From this place, the idea to help others cultivate ease and joy through “Presence Matters" was born. Amanda is a seasoned professional with more than 10 years’ experience performing, educating, facilitating and consulting for Fortune 500 companies with the personal mission to reach and change lives for the better. Her passion for helping others—be it a 2nd-grader or a CEO—and her ability to connect with and inspire those she meets are unleashed by her wit, charm, and eloquence, making her message resonate deeply with her audience. For more information and to work with her, visit www.amandajohnson.tv.

4 thoughts on “Three Familiar Symptoms of Not Being Good Enough

  1. I am an actor, so not feeling good enough is often just a part of the job. To add to “What we did or didn’t do”, I often get in my head when I’m not feeling confident and don’t live up to my full potential. … And then I am mad at myself later and blame myself. Or I second guess my actions in the moment. I really appreciate your blog and the questions you pose here!

    Like

  2. Especially important to remember these points where you are exposing a little bit of yourself like through writing, acting or art. Thank you for the reminders.

    Like

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